i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
