Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Just puked most of my soul out..
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
