lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize