Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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