help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
