This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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