So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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