How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
