either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
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We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
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My breasts were aching with rage.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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