"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
