I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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