Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
