Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
No subtext here. People are naked.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Randomize
