THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize