Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
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My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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