that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
