i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
