have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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