Buhtt sex?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
