She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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