everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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