dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
