I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
is it fun? or sober?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
