Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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