I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
