Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
