So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
