do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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