you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
