Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
