Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Success! We fucked roommates!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
