After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Randomize
