Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He has the fingertips of a God
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