I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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