does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
