What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
