I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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