It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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