woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
