Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!