Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign

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  (714): OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign http://tfl.nu/7urn
  Replies (9) Good night (2141) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  why did u let me go home with him last night?

  (260): View more from Indiana

  u were determined it was a good idea

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  (317): why did u let me go home with him last night? (260): u were determined it was a good idea http://tfl.nu/v9y6
  Replies (18) Good night (792) Bad night (1260)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control

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  (502): I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control http://tfl.nu/izk5
  Replies (46) Good night (929) Bad night (8500)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down

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  (203): he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down http://tfl.nu/m1he
  Replies (31) Good night (982) Bad night (6489)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Hi, my name's audrey!

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Max?

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.

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  (740): Hi, my name's audrey! (614): Max? (740): Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk. http://tfl.nu/di7n
  Replies (31) Good night (6270) Bad night (1071)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me

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  (203): Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me http://tfl.nu/rey7
  Replies (22) Good night (6884) Bad night (1502)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk

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  (410): I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk http://tfl.nu/te86
  Replies (12) Good night (1287) Bad night (759)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.

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  (612): Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked. http://tfl.nu/oddr
  Replies (8) Good night (1605) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while

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  (+61): I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while http://tfl.nu/v6v9
  Replies (2) Good night (628) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.

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  (925): I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m. http://tfl.nu/avly
  Replies (1) Good night (1066) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.

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  (215): Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you. http://tfl.nu/su7n
  Replies (12) Good night (3222) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...

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  (805): All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend... http://tfl.nu/o1px
  Replies (4) Good night (432) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting

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  (706): Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting http://tfl.nu/0ok9
  Replies (2) Good night (757) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.

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  (860): Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie. http://tfl.nu/hffy
  Replies (7) Good night (319) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too

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  (603): Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too http://tfl.nu/vabn
  Replies (0) Good night (194) Bad night (526)

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