Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize