Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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