K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
