you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
