there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
