i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We don't watch enough power rangers
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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