so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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