took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
