I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
