I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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