I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
