We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
