your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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