VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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