so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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