I wish I could teleport
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
