I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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