ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
