Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
