drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Randomize