Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize