Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Randomize