Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
