you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
